Left to right: Patricio, Grizwaldo, Jim Jr., Kemot, Bettina, Katiki, Matteo, Tiki, Niko, Christof, Jessepe, Lazer, Bakini, Myself, Tron.Not much bike riding for me lately. Have not wanted to really even touch the bike since the west coast tour. Don't really know what happened out there, but something changed inside me, that i cannot really describe. but perhaps i will try? yes, yes i will.
ammie left in september to move back to texas. i moved in with my lovely sister and her very ultra husband chris in old lyme, and finished out the season on the sea sprite in a lonely way. that stuff happens to everyone though at some point, so i am not complaining, just stating the facts. and that brings us to mid november.
the roads lonely roads of new england left behind for the adventures of winter
Ammie and me break it off officially and sadly, then a few days later i fly out to portland to meet patricio and adam for a 5 week long bike tour of the west coast and beyond. highly anticipated was this journey. the camping and the vegan doughnuts....
While on the tour i changed. out of contact with my comfortable life of the last 3.5 years spent with the woman i had planned to spend the rest of my life with, and with the aid of a self-help spiritual book...and our shaman....and 24-7 nature....and physical exertion....and heavy duty reflection...i had what they call and existential crisis. but i would say it was more of a re-birth/awakening. something happening to a lot of people right now. there was so much turmoil in my head, but at the same time the pain was allowing new doors to open in my consciousness. it ultra blew me away in a good way mega cool.
we ended up staying on the road for almost 4 weeks. it was an amazing tour, with 2 very special friends. but, i had to cut it short. i had to get back to austin to see ammie and try to figure out what had happened. it had been killing my insides, and i could no longer think about anything else. even with all the knowledge Eckhart Tolle had bestowed upon me.
my reunion with ammie was bittersweet, and it became slowly evident that things were over for the time being. she had moved on to someone else, and i was not mad at her for it...i love her very much, no matter what. it was her decision and i respect that. listen to me eh? this does feel good to write down though.
so back to my existential crisis: in addition to a feeling of oneness with everyone and everything...the collapse of judgment...and a new found fascination with crystals and lemuria, i have been into new things and everything. if i want to do something or try something for the first time (as long as it does not hurt anyone), i just do it without fear. it has been a wild time for an otherwise closed off and rigid individual (in my own way) such as myself. i surprise myself.
so my bike time is reserved to riding to yoga classes. or riding to play frisbee with thomas or one of my numerous other minimally employed friends out here. been doing a lot of dating. meeting new people... been running a bunch in preparation to do an off road marathon with the can-man this summer.... and sold my fancy race bike to patricio. i have been coaching patricio also. he has lost 25 lbs and is killing it softly with romance and coolness. i am also living on his couch. you can read about that here.
this 15 lb S-works SL2 was mine for a few rides
ammie left in september to move back to texas. i moved in with my lovely sister and her very ultra husband chris in old lyme, and finished out the season on the sea sprite in a lonely way. that stuff happens to everyone though at some point, so i am not complaining, just stating the facts. and that brings us to mid november.
the roads lonely roads of new england left behind for the adventures of winterWhile on the tour i changed. out of contact with my comfortable life of the last 3.5 years spent with the woman i had planned to spend the rest of my life with, and with the aid of a self-help spiritual book...and our shaman....and 24-7 nature....and physical exertion....and heavy duty reflection...i had what they call and existential crisis. but i would say it was more of a re-birth/awakening. something happening to a lot of people right now. there was so much turmoil in my head, but at the same time the pain was allowing new doors to open in my consciousness. it ultra blew me away in a good way mega cool.
we ended up staying on the road for almost 4 weeks. it was an amazing tour, with 2 very special friends. but, i had to cut it short. i had to get back to austin to see ammie and try to figure out what had happened. it had been killing my insides, and i could no longer think about anything else. even with all the knowledge Eckhart Tolle had bestowed upon me.
my reunion with ammie was bittersweet, and it became slowly evident that things were over for the time being. she had moved on to someone else, and i was not mad at her for it...i love her very much, no matter what. it was her decision and i respect that. listen to me eh? this does feel good to write down though.
so back to my existential crisis: in addition to a feeling of oneness with everyone and everything...the collapse of judgment...and a new found fascination with crystals and lemuria, i have been into new things and everything. if i want to do something or try something for the first time (as long as it does not hurt anyone), i just do it without fear. it has been a wild time for an otherwise closed off and rigid individual (in my own way) such as myself. i surprise myself.
so my bike time is reserved to riding to yoga classes. or riding to play frisbee with thomas or one of my numerous other minimally employed friends out here. been doing a lot of dating. meeting new people... been running a bunch in preparation to do an off road marathon with the can-man this summer.... and sold my fancy race bike to patricio. i have been coaching patricio also. he has lost 25 lbs and is killing it softly with romance and coolness. i am also living on his couch. you can read about that here.
this 15 lb S-works SL2 was mine for a few rides"one love" and i am not embarrassed. namaste...still not embarrassed.
Juan, its Tiki...
ReplyDeleteAt first this entry made me feel a tad awkward about viewing your deep and longing life reflections. Probably because "men" often neglect opening up to this vulnerability and typically act ridiculous and machismo. Your entry is the real deal and I think it is as beautiful as your tinctures. My amigo, Katie and I are glad you are in Austin. Namaste